Lara Croft Hentai

Lara Croft may the most famous 3D video game character ever created, but I am never, ever considering having a Tomb Raider episode in my rentals list again. Why, I just spent 5$ on a game that hasn't changed a bit ever since its debut 5 years ago. True, that many teens were coaxed into buying it due to so many sexually intimidating commercials. Remember the lonely strip teaser? Lara honey, it has been 5 years since you were born. In the gaming world where even a year old products become outdated, your prime has came and past long ago. Now lets take a look at you, and see why we need to separate:

Graphics 6/10
Lara stands tall and curvy in those skin-tight shorts, but staring at her behind for long hours isn't what I would call entertainment. She has been rendered as gorgeous as always, but you really don't need the game for this, as I am sure there are way too many fan sites with libraries filled with her pictures. The environment sometimes looks marvelous, but usually you end up running around in more and more catacombs without much to look at. It looks like they decided to improve on one thing or two, after all. However, even with DC's computing capacities, the animation turns into slow motion mode in hot situations. Bad camera angles that plague most 3D action games also make this game highly frustrating. Imagine looking at the sky from inside of a wall with an undead trying to smack you silly.

Story Line 3/10
Lara Croft games follow a highly linear story line, without much twist and captivating moments. Basically, the old gal has woken the Deity Seth, and she must find a way to put her back to sleep. Seth is the ancient Egyptian deity that represented chaos and opposed law. Therefore, you would think that Tomb Raider has an inkling of a resemblance to great titles that pay tribute to historical events. Unfortunately, if Seth was to awaken, I think her first divine interference would be to burn each and every Tomb Raider ever shipped out to public.

Game Play 1/10
Nothing has changed; everything is the same as before. Run around and kill a couple of things, and than try to figure out the solution to a puzzle that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. That is what Tomb Raider franchise offers these days. Oh yeah, there is also pushing and pulling things while jumping up and down too, and that was the 'sexy' aspect of the first Croft ever released. I can imagine myself as a teenager again, but I can't possibly imagine finding this to be any sort of fun. In addition, Dreamcast version of Croft has possibly the worst controls offered by any game. You have to switch between the analog control and the directional pad when running and walking. Also, taking the wrong step also means instant death in a lot of hot spots.

Innovation 0/10
Croft's skin got smoother? The most frustrating puzzles you will find in any type of adventure game. I recommend keeping a few extra controllers on the side, just so you can replace the ones you break. Or, you can just break your console system and never have to stare at this silly game again. Its up to you.

Conclusion 2/10
Lara is old, and she shows it too. She was good when she was young, but its long past her age of retirement. The title and the news claim that this will be the last of Lara we will see, but somehow I am thinking that this is just another ugly marketing trick done to boost the sales. Unfortunately, Lara is not even worth the rent in her current condition. I have said my goodbye to her with this title. For the sake of your continued good health, listen to my advice and do the same.