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the many facets of love
Date of Review: Jun 2, 2000
*I wrote this review back in 1997 for school. This is the edited version for epinions. It's wholly original except for quotations from the novel, of course.*
After reading this gem of a book, my first thought was, "Why, this is not a story at all, but a poem." I was convinced of this fact when I realized that this novel does not have a proper story-line or a 'meaty plot' much in the vein of conventional novels. Instead, its focus is on themes--it flows beautifully, held together by a series of impressions rather than incidents (very like a poem); emphasis being put more on the relationships between human beings rather than the occurrence of external events. The characters are portrayed with the utmost sensitivity--they are transformed into real, living, breathing characters by the writer's pen, yet they are also vastly different from the normal human being, for their personalities are so vivid as to be almost unreal. The words used are powerful and emotive; the descriptions are ingenious and detailed.
People familiar with D.H. Lawrence's works will know that this book is often described as his autobiography. With an uncanny sense of self perception, Lawrence draws on his own experience and "explores the close emotional ties that were to dominate so much of his life". In the story, the plot centres around the near-incestuous relationship between Paul Morel and his mother, and Paul's relationships with two other women, Miriam and Clara. A parallel is to be found in Lawrence's own life -- he had a strangely close relationship with his own mother, and "Miriam" and "Clara" are real women. His relationships with the other women were hampered by the bond he had with his mother, as are Paul's. The fact that Lawrence is writing mainly about his own life makes the story even more realistic than it already is, for he is on familiar terms with the characters he creates and is thus able to add on the subtleties and nuances of their personalities in appropriate fashion.
Lawrence draws skilfully on his working class background in detailing Mrs Morel's marriage to the coal-miner, Walter Morel, a drunkard and an uneducated man. The marriage deteriorates rapidly; Mrs Morel's disillusionment reaches a climax when Morel comes home one day totally drunk and throws her out of the house.
It seems appropriate that she should be carrying Paul in her womb at this time -- it is Paul who eventually recovers her (albeit unconsciously to both); Paul who has shared her misery at its peak; Paul who smells the air "charged with (the lilies') perfume" as she does... "after a time the child, too, melted with her in the mixing pot of moonlight, and she rested herself with the hills and lilies and houses, all swum together in a kind of swoon."
This highly sensual description is a foreshadow of the sexual tension that is to occur later on between Paul and his mother -- none more clearly shown than when Mrs. Morel complains about Miriam to Paul, and he "stroked his mother's hair... his mouth... on her throat", "she speaking in a voice "trembling with passionate love" while "without knowing it, he gently stroked her face".
After her first son dies, Mrs. Morel transfers all her attention to Paul, showering him with her care and love. Their relationship treads the fine line between mother-and-son and lovers. One moment she nags him in typical maternal fashion; the next, they act like young lovers -- he "stuck to her as if he were her man" at the holiday at Mablethorpe; there is another time when he takes her on an outing to London and he tells her that he is a "fellow taking his girl for an outing".
The Oedipal complex? Yes, the Oedipal complex, complete with a strange alternating love-hate relationship borne of desiring something one can never truly possess. One will do well to consider the nature of the relationship between Paul and his mother (the novel is titled "Sons and Lovers" after all) but beware -- one will also do well not to oversimplify and brand the novel "Oedipal". There is Miriam; there is Clara. There is more than one type of love.
Miriam's appearance causes much tension between Paul and his mother, because Miriam threatens to take Paul's soul away from Mrs. Morel. My personal favourites are the sections "Lad-and-Girl Love" and "Strife in Love" -- Miriam is a fascinating and fantastic creature, impossibly idealistic and possessing an unusually keen sense of beauty. She is always sad and seeking to be loved. Paul asks her, "why are you always so sad?" and goes on to inform her that "even (her) joy is like a flame coming off of sadness."
Paul hates Miriam for the spiritual intimacy they shared; the intensity of her emotions. As she "swooned in an ecstasy of love" for her brother, he is "all in a suffering because of her extreme emotion." In the tragically intense chapter, "Strife in Love", every single word or action is enough to provoke a violent reaction -- "Even the way he crouched before the oven hurt her. There seemed to be something cruel in it, something cruel in the swift way he pitched the bread out of the tins, caught it up again." Miriam's ideals are ultimately far too high for Paul to be able to stand them. She knows nothing of the pleasures of the flesh, offering her virginity to him only as a sort of sacrifice; she demands his soul instead.
The crux comes when Paul realizes that, unless his mother died, he will be unable to love another woman. Although he allows Miriam the right to possess him, he defects to Clara Dawes, whom Mrs. Morel does not object to, because Clara only provides the sexual fulfillment which she knew that she herself could never give to Paul. Ironically, Clara now seeks to envelope Paul physically, which he dislikes as much as Miriam's "spiritual consumption" of him.
The book ends with Paul drifting back into life, still rudderless and without direction. Yet he is making his way into a new world altogether. He will be able to find a life beyond the confines of his present one. Here, a small flame of hope is kindled amidst the various decisions he has to make. The boundaries we are fenced in are merely the boundaries which we have created ourselves after all.
D.H. Lawrence writes about things controversial and real. People who read his books usually feel either disgusted or impressed. One cannot possibly feel ambivalent towards his works, because he invokes strong feelings, and his writings affect people profoundly. Even those who detest him for his bluntness in dealing with non-traditional issues cannot help but admire him for his courage in tackling these issues in such a forthright manner. "Sons and Lovers" has sparked off in me many conflicting emotions and thoughts. Most of all, the sincerity with which it was written has touched me greatly.
The difficulty of resolving the various emotional problems that occur between human beings still exists today, and will probably continue to exist for millenia to come, regardless of the development of technology. Thousands of writers have written about the complex relationships between human beings, but D.H. Lawrence stands alone in his ability to inject such beauty and poignancy into his works.
