Motorhome Magazine

When I saw a stack of copies of Motor Home magazine at my friend's place, I just had to look at them. Especially since they just informed me that they are seriously considering getting one of these things after they retire. They said it would be "out across the United States to see all the sights--and maybe into Canada or down through Mexico to have a look around." The comment reminded me of something and I had to wait until I was at home to know what it was.

As I settled in to read, all of a sudden I realized why I was fascinated with this magazine: this was just the kind of thing Toad of Toad Hall in Wind in the Willows would have loved. I pulled out my copy of that much-loved story and found the passages pertaining to Toad's "Gypsy Caravan." In this chapter Toad is trying to convince Ratty and Mole to accompany him on his next hair-brained adventure.

He brings his two victims out to the stable-yard and shows them a brightly painted cart. It was "shining with newness, painted a canary-yellow picked out with green and red wheels." As Toad puffs himself up to his fullest, he says, "There you are! . . . There's the real life for you, embodied in that little cart. The open road, the dusty highway, the heath, the common, the hedgerows, the rolling downs! Camps, villages, towns, cities! Here today and up and off to somewhere else tomorrow! The whole world before you, and a horizon that's always changing . . ." and blah, blah, blah!

I could just see my friends standing in front of their new Gulf Stream or whatever it was they finally purchased, saying much the same sort of thing to me. Well, I don't expect them to get anything as ostentatious as Toady's vehicle, but they will undoubtedly get something in impeccable taste that includes every amenity they can think of. C is not very computer literate, but he says he wants to have a satellite hookup so he can get "maps and stuff."

The magazine is full of articles and the first one is called On Ramp and is a half-page column written by the publisher, Bill Estes. Mr. Estes whets the appetite of his readers with teasers about current news developments and directs them to feature articles further on in the magazine. The other staff writers seemed to be "men of a certain age." They all have photos that show them as super-tanned and they look like they spend a lot of time on the golf course.

The next page is called P.O. Box, which naturally enough has Letters to the Editor, some of which are quite lengthy. This section includes a helpful sidebar with Reader Information such as where the Editorial Office is located, how to get Reprints and Back Issues, a Consumer Action Hot Line (no phone calls, please), how to send in Freelance Submissions and the Internet address for MotorHome Online.

With that all out of the way, you can start reading and looking at everything. As I continued to page through the magazine, I found some pretty spiffy looking vehicles described in articles and advertised in the classifieds. Nearly every page of Motor Home magazine, up to page 35, is loaded with ads for different makers of motor homes (some showing cross-sections of the chassis), different dealers, mobile satellite TV systems, tires, towing and tow bars, and RV resorts. Ditto for the back of the publication.

Feature articles included such topics as Under the Big Sky, a recollection of a husband and wife's odyssey through Montana. The authors tell about looking for garnets at several locations along Alder Creek and going through Glacier National Park. Nice (but not great) color photos accompany everything. Another feature called Beyond the Mall tells visitors who are willing to "go the extra mile" where they can find some unique treasures in the Washington DC area.

Maybe you like horses. Show Tails takes you to the Tennessee Walking Horse National Celebration, which has gathered together the very best of the walking breed in Shelbyville, Tennessee every year for more than 60 years. While you're there, you could check out the Jack Daniel's Distillery. It's located 15 miles southeast in Lynchburg. This article included road directions, ticket prices, addresses, and a web site. There is also a camping area mentioned that has hookups for 325 vehicles.

An American Gothic Journey lets you explore the landscape that inspired artist Grant Wood. Here you can drive along with author Richard Carroll through the countryside and experience every detail of the cornfields, rounded haystacks, and rolling hills that are dotted with picture-perfect farm houses and red barns. This was a well-written piece and I wouldn't mind making a trip like that myself.

Another "world-class" destination that looked very interesting was the Powell River in British Columbia. Another husband and wife writing team describe the Powell River at the top of British Columbia's Sunshine Coast. Aside from all the water activity there are hiking trails. The ferries can accommodate any size motor home, and the Powell Forest Canoe Route includes eight lakes and stretches for 93 miles.

I should really try to describe some of the interiors of these so-called gracious homes on wheels, but I can't bring myself to do it. Some models are very nice with rather handsome interiors and some are just so god-awful that they literally make your eyes spin. One had upholstered walls and overly-stuffed overly-patterned furniture in a set of nauseous color combinations that would surely cause some sort of upheaval (if you know what I mean) as one was swaying along.

It was the kind of thing I would picture upwardly mobile trailer-trash living in. Another had a ceiling that electronically dropped down to become a bed at night. This was certainly inventive, but how anyone could live in some of these rolling haciendas for more than a week is beyond me. They were scary!

I much prefer the reading fantasy of a night with my chums in their Gypsy Caravan. After a "pleasant ramble over grassy downs and narrow lanes," Ratty, mole and Toad were "tired and happy and miles from home. They drew up on a remote common not far from habitations, turned the horse loose to graze and ate their simple supper on the grass at the side of the cart. . . . At last they turned into their little bunks. . . ."

I searched as hard as I could for any mention of kitchen/cooking facilities. Alas, nada, zilch, zip, nothing! I did, however, find a section called Quick Tips that had some ideas for raising the stove burner grates and preventing cooking splatters with plastic sheeting that would "help our rig to stay fresh and new." It seems that the person in charge of food has to make do with what looks like the smallest Pullman kitchens I've ever seen.

There were kitchens included in the photos, but no mention of ease of use or sumptuous appointments. I must assume (and I hate that word) that anyone who can afford one of these vehicles, has the money to eat out every night. Or do the owners always grill outside. You think? Nah! All this talk of food reminded me of Toad, Rat and Mole again and I was back reading their adventures.

Toads little Caravan was "indeed very compact and comfortable. Little sleeping bunks--a little table that folded up against the wall--a cooking stove, lockers, bookshelves, a bird-cage with a bird in it; and pots and pans, jugs and kettles of every size and variety." Toad told his friends that everything was very complete. He had included "biscuits, potted lobster, sardines--everything you could possibly want." There was "soda-water here--baccy there--letter paper, bacon, jam, cards and dominoes." Toady knows how to stock up for an excursion!

There are more monthly columns throughout the magazine with names like Motorhomes & Accessories, Coach & Chassis, the RV Marketplace, Classifieds, Books & Travel Guides, Dealers and Destinations, and as always, a final page, this time called Off Ramp, where you will find RV humor--if you can stand it. At any rate, this is where you find out the answers to all your questions.

If you go to that web site : www.motorhomemagazine.com. you can subscribe online. If not you can pick up Motor Home magazine at your newsstand for $3.99 US or $4.99 in Canada. Subscriptions are available for $26, 1 year; $52, 2 years; or $78, 3 years. That's a great savings of nothing on the multiple year subscriptions, but I would like to believe that anyone who has a motor home or anyone who is thinking about getting one, will love this magazine.